The Day I Realized I Had More Power Than I Thought (And You Do Too)
If you are feeling powerless right now, you are not alone AND…Trust me: you have way more power than you ever imagined!
At all stages of my career, from corporate senior leader to fledgling entrepreneur, I felt utterly powerless more times than I care to admit. And if you'd told me five years ago that I'd be teaching Fortune 500 companies about power dynamics, I would have laughed until my sides hurt.
This is the story of how I learned that power isn't what we think it is. And more importantly, it's about the profound shift that happens every single time I teach "Mastering Workplace Dynamics: Power & Influence" workshop. In this co-designed workshop, 90% of participants walk in believing power comes from formal titles and is synonymous with coercion and individual gain — and leave understanding all the forms of power already available to them.
The Real Talk About Feeling Powerless
Let me paint you a picture. Six years into my corporate career, I was sitting in yet another meeting where decisions were being made about my work without including me. You know, the meetings where you feel like you are having an out of body experience, watching colleagues with big titles talk over each other while the rest of us sit there like furniture. Try as I might to hold my own, I often felt invisible, voiceless, and completely at the mercy of the powers that be.
Sound familiar?
Fast forward, and after nearly three decades of work in some pretty giant corporations, I know one thing for sure: Most of us have been sold a lie about what power actually is.
We think power is:
Having a corner office
Being able to fire people
Making the big decisions
Having your name on the org chart
And sure, those things can be forms of power. But they're just the tip of the iceberg, and rarely as effective as the other types of power at our disposal.
The Workshop That Changes Everything (for me and you)
About a year ago, my fabulous colleagues Dr. Shonna Waters and Dr. Erin Eatough asked me to facilitate a session on politics and power in the workplace for a large banking client. Boy did my imposter syndrome come roaring back. Sure, I held legitimate power after years of working in pharmaceuticals, but what did I know about this subject?! I should have realized that these brilliant humans had a method to their madness and this workshop became an absolute favorite to teach.
Every time I facilitate the power and influence workshop, the same thing happens. I start with a simple question: "What comes up for you when you hear 'workplace power and politics'?"
The answers are always some variation of:
"Ugh, office politics"
"People playing games"
"Having to kiss up to get ahead"
"Something I'm bad at"
"Manipulation"
Next comes my favorite part… I watch unbelievable transformations occur the further we dive into the research.
The project manager who thought she had no power suddenly realizes she's the go-to expert on the new software system (Expert Power), people constantly come to her for advice (Referent Power), and she has connections across three departments (Connection Power).
The individual contributor who felt stuck discovers he's been sharing critical market insights with leadership (Informational Power), mentoring new hires (Reward Power), and building trust through consistent delivery (Referent Power).
This is the shift. It's not about gaining power — it's about recognizing the power you already have.
The Science of Power (It's Not What You Think)
Here's where it gets interesting. Social psychologists John French and Bertram Raven identified that power actually comes in seven distinct forms (known as power bases), and most of them have absolutely nothing to do with your job title.
Let me break this down for you:
1. Legitimate Power - Yes, this is the title thing. But it's just one slice of the pie.
2. Expert Power - What you know, your skills, your experience. If you want to influence others in your organization, one of the surest methods is to develop expertise in your discipline. That thing you're really good at? That's power.
3. Referent Power - This is about trust and relationships. When people seek you out for advice, when your opinion matters to others — that's referent power in action.
4. Reward Power - Your ability to recognize others, provide opportunities, or connect people to resources. You don't need a promotion budget to have this.
5. Informational Power - Access to and ability to share valuable information. In our data-driven world, this is huge.
6. Connection Power - Your network, your ability to make introductions, your relationships across the organization.
7. Coercive Power - The ability to enforce standards or consequences. This one gets overused and abused, but it has its place.
We walk into the workshop thinking only of legitimate power and coercion, and learn about the five other, far more influential forms of power. Think about it. We all do what the enforcer tells us to, but will run through walls for the leader who appreciates and rewards us. I know which leader I’d rather be!
The Influence Game-Changer
Power is just half the equation. The other half is knowing how to use it — and this is where most people get it wrong.
We tend to default to either "hard" influence (setting deadlines, assigning tasks, upholding standards) or "soft" influence (listening, encouraging, building consensus). But the research is clear: ambidextrous influence — using both approaches — increases your predictability of success.
You start with relationship building, then set clear expectations. You pair strong standards with continuous encouragement. You combine direct task assignment with listening to concerns.
I too have laughed at anyone who has referred to me as an “Influencer.” A word which immediately conjures images of the Kardashians. The truth: We all have influence and it is critical that we know how to use it correctly. First-line leaders often have the most influence on direct reports and a few in my career had the ability to make me believe in myself in ways I never thought possible. They weren’t easy on me. They set a high bar and let me know I was capable of exceeding their expectations. They were ambidextrous in their influence and I won’t soon forget them.
The Permission You've Been Waiting For
Here's the thing we don't talk about enough: You don't need to wait for permission to use your power.
You don't need a promotion to share your expertise. You don't need a management title to build relationships. You don't need approval to connect people or recognize good work. You don't need a corner office to influence outcomes. Start. Right. Now.
Audit your power sources. Reflect on where you are strongest and where you can grow. Think through all the people you know who excel at owning their power and ask them for help. Personal coaches are great for helping us to identify and grow our power sources. This work is some of the most impactful work I do with my clients.
What This Means for You (The Real Stuff)
Look, I'm not here to hand you a five-step formula for workplace domination. But I am here to tell you that recognizing and ethically using your power isn't just good for your career — it's good for everyone around you.
When we understand our power:
We stop waiting for others to make things happen
We start advocating for ourselves and others more effectively
We build stronger relationships based on mutual respect
We become the person others turn to when they need to get things done
We create the kind of workplace culture you actually want to be part of
We stop being passengers in our careers and start driving.
And here's the beautiful part — it's contagious. When you start operating from a place of recognized power, you give others permission to do the same.
Your Power Inventory Starts Now
I see you, showing up every day, doing good work, caring about outcomes, supporting your colleagues. That's not powerlessness — that's power in action.
The only difference between you and the "powerful" people you admire? They recognize what they're already doing and do it more intentionally (and perhaps have the title and the corner office already). You start recognizing your personal power and the sky’s the limit.
So here's my challenge: For the next week, notice your power. Notice when people come to you for advice. Notice when you have information others need. Notice when you make connections or recognize good work. Notice when you set boundaries or uphold standards.
You're more powerful than you think. It's time to start acting like it.
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Looking for a way to boost your team’s efficacy, engagement, and performance? Connect with me 1:1 to discuss bringing this information to your organization!