Reflections from a Self-Proclaimed Menopause Whisperer
A few months back, I attended the Business Group on Health’s Global Summit where I was honored to speak about menopause in the workplace. If you know me, then you know that I cannot help, but talk about women’s health. It is quite literally an obsession.
Why?
Because someone has to.
And why not someone who found herself suddenly burning up from the core, unable to sleep for more than 20 minutes without intense sweats and terror.
Or maybe, it is because I went from feeling like a funny, sexy, vivacious women to the distinct feeling that I was vanishing from existence, in a matter of months.
One day a couple of Octobers ago, as I sat on my blush pink couch, in what my partner affectionally refers to as my zen den, I started wondering what would happened if I just disappeared? What if I climbed up to my roof and just hopped off? Would anyone care? Would it matter at all? Who cares about middle-aged women after all?
These thoughts scared the crap out of me.
I immediately told my partner then promptly called to my doctor because something was definitely not right.
After a Telehealth visit, I was told these feelings are typical for perimenopausal women.
Who are you calling perimenopausal? I mean, I was only 45.
Long story short, my doctor listened and then suggested Lexapro, which I credit for helping to save my life. See, I had always been an anxious person, but these new hormones, this perimenopause that I thought I was too young for, they created depression, and those feelings were dark.
Within a few weeks, I felt like myself emotionally!
Then came the debilitating combination of heat, panic, and nausea. After 2 months of barely sleeping and gaining 15 lbs. while being too sick to eat, I called a time-out, went back to my doctor and begged for hormone therapy.
Two days later, my heat, panic, and nausea dissipated, and I felt alive again.
A couple of things to note: I have worked in the pharmaceutical space for nearly 20 years, and grew up in a medical family where we talked often of health and well-being. I am also very comfortable discussing my mental heath and after years of coaching and therapy have the language to do that. Not to mention an incredibly supportive partner and the fact that we live in a state with outstanding medical care.
Take all those things away, and I would likely have had a very different outcome.
It takes a village
That is why we must cultivate a safe space in workplaces to tackle these critical health issues. Perimenopause and menopause care take a village. And women experiencing this life change are in the pinnacle of their careers. We are often sought after valuable members of organizations, including members of the C-suite. We are often taking care of aging parents and children, while trying to put out literal fires in their bodies.
I know, I know…Leaders in your organization would never be open to these conversations. Menopause doesn’t belong in the workplace. And, besides, when we worked so hard to be taken seriously, why would any woman admit that she needed any form of special treatment?
Businesses should care because (Statistics courtesy of Maven Clinic and Carrot Fertility, 2023):
The world is 51% female
42% of women report constantly being burned out
1 in 5 perimenopausal or menopausal women has considered leaving their job or have quit already
70% of women report needing some kind of accommodation or time to deal with their peri- or menopause symptoms, but don’t feel comfortable asking
54% of women report having a work related infraction having to deal with theirs or someone else’s peri- or menopause symptoms
Humans should care because:
Menopause is not even a condition. It is a painful part of the typical lifecycle for any human woman
Men, non-binary, and younger female colleagues need to understand the range of symptomatology so they can support co-workers through a normal medical occurrence
We would never silence a colleague from talking about any other (non-mental) ailment that was keeping them from showing up their best (sadly we are also dealing with mental health stigma)
By simply opening dialogue and providing education, we are helping to create an environment that works for all people, not just the lucky few. There are many femtech/famtech solutions helping to expedite these conversations and we will talk about them at length in another post.
Please feel free to reach out and share your thoughts, stories, and questions in the comments section of this blog. I look forward to creating our village together.