No One is Coming to Save Us: Five Keys to Grow Self-Efficacy

This past week at the Women’s Health Summit co-hosted by HerMD and Luminary, I had the privilege to hear many brilliant women speak.

Tonya Lewis Lee said something I will never forget, “No one is coming to save us.”

Her comment was in relation to the fact that it is up to us, as women to build the world we want for ourselves and our children.

Also that as humans and entrepreneurs, anything we seek is ours to create!

As I sit here in a puddle, trying to wrestle with my impending house sale and move, the launch of not one, but two businesses, and the need to accomplish many things I have never tried before, I would love for someone to save me.

No one is coming to save me or you for that matter.

Self-efficacy is our salvation.

There are a million reasons why I don’t feel like doing all the things that need to be done to move houses and launch businesses, but my intrinsic motivation to align my work to my values, and years of practice have taught me that by breaking the work down, I will be able to handle ALL the things.

This my friends, is self-efficacy going to work for me and it will work for you all too!

The American Psychological Association defines self-efficacy as, “an individual's belief in their capacity to execute behaviors necessary to produce specific performance attainments (Bandura, 1977, 1986, 1997). Self-efficacy mediates self-belief, self-motivation, and our ability to act on desired behaviors.

The great news is that we can grow our self efficacy in some fairly simple ways!

My Top 5 Tips for Improving Self-Efficacy:

  1. Set achievable goals: “Microsteps,” as Thrive Global dubs them are bite sized actions that are aligned to our goals and also too small to fail.

    If you have ever tried to climb a mountain, or ski down one for that matter, you know that the challenge often feels quite daunting. Yet, if we break the mountain up into sections, the climb or slope suddenly feels manageable and we are much more likely to make it up or down! The same is true of any goal we hope to achieve.

    So start stepping your way to success and don’t forget to celebrate each milestone along the way!

  2. Remember Past Successes: When facing a new challenge, one of the best things we can do to spur us onward, is to reflect on past achievements.

    So you want to start a business and you’ve never done that before, prepare to be a mix of terrified and excited! You could stay freaked because you’ve never started a business before, OR you can reflect on all of the past successes you have had in business and remember that once upon a time, you figured out how to successfully work for other people, which at some point was a first.

    One tried and true method, for battling self doubt, is reviewing our resumes. A curriculum vitae serves as a powerful reminder of everything we have accomplished so far, and if you are just getting started and don’t have much on your resume, reflect on your achievements in school. Past success begets future success.

  3. Phone a Friend: So you broke everything down into tiny steps, you’ve considered all of the amazing things you have achieved in your life and are still feeling down in the dumps?

    It is time to call in reinforcements. You know, those amazing people who always see the best in us and know all of our strengths and even our weaknesses.

    There have been many times in these last few months, where despite my best efforts to keep on keeping on, I have been a total meltdown. I am fortunate to have friends as kind as they are inspiring. When I call, they help me to remember how far I have already come and remind me of my capabilities.

    I also have a coach who is my ultimate champion!

  4. Visualization Techniques for the Win: According to BetterHelp, “Visualization is a self-improvement technique that involves creating detailed mental images of desired outcomes or goals.” By visualizing ourselves accomplishing a goal or dream we activate neurons in the brain responsible for helping us filter out noise and focus on stimuli that help us stay positive.

    It may sound cheesy, but I LOVE a good vision board.

    Not familiar, a vision board can be made digitally or by hand. Start by selecting words, images, mantras, or anything else that reminds you of the future you wish to create and place them on a literal or virtual board. Once you have thoroughly activated your inner child creating by playing with art supplies, place this board in a place where it is visible at all times. I take pictures with my camera phone so I can bring those visions with me on the road.

    Not a fan of vision boards, carve out visualization time each night when you lie down to sleep, or in the morning before you hop out of bed. By taking a few minutes to envision our goals coming to fruition, we are setting some powerful mind magic in motion!

  5. Reframe to Tame Your Inner Critic: I have previously written an entire blog post on this hot take.

    Any negative thought can be turned into a positive one. It requires some self-work, reflection, and a reframe.

    Step 1: Start with a negative belief, for example, entrepreneurship is tough and most people fail.

    Step 2: Where did this belief come from? My parents and my partner. They love me and they love stability

    Step 3: Reframe: Sure, entrepreneurship can be tough, but so is midlife career change. I did that and I can start a business too!

Implementing some or all of the strategies listed above can help increase our self-efficacy which can cultivate confidence, resilience, and self-belief! Not sure where to start? Book a consultation with me today

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